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The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin will help you to improve your communication skills. If you want to improve your communication skills, this short book will help you to ace it. To know about the author, summary, and review read the below post
Author: Les Giblin
Cover
Relevance
Narration
Over All
Release Date 1 January 2001
Pages 57
About the Author
Les Giblin was born in Cedar Rapids, in 1912. After serving in the Military, Les began a sales job in 1946 with a pen company. Giblin’s door-to-door selling job made him a keen observer of human nature. He eventually earned two titles as a salesman of the year. Learning from his sales career, Giblin wrote his first classic Skills with People in 1968. He began conducting thousands of seminars for big business giants like General Electric, Caterpillar, Johnson & Johnson, and many more.
Book Summary: The art of dealing with people by Les Giblin
This book is written in short and every line is inspiring and full of learning. The main aim of this book is to provide full knowledge of communication skills. The few important principles that you should follow to master the art of dealing with people are
1. Think Creatively About Human Relations
We all are way apart from each other. But there is one common thing between all of us and that is we all crave success and happiness. The one common thing that will easily earn you success and happiness is other people.
Just getting along well with other people is not enough. It is important to learn a way to deal with people who give us satisfaction without hurting others’ egos.
As described in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin, “Human Relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact.”
As per the author Les Giblin, this is the best and only method that gives results of success and satisfaction.
The reason 90% of people fail in life is a failure to deal successfully with people: When you look around you will observe that people who are happy, successful, and satisfied have a way of getting along well with people.
Your personality problems are your problems with other people
Many people are shy, self-conscious, and not comfortable in social situations. They feel secondary and never understand that their main problem is their lack of knowledge to deal with people.
There is another type of people who are “bossy” and love to dominate any social situation they are part of, whether it is a home, office, or any other place. Yet they know something is missing and they doubt why people in their life do not like them. They can force people to have friendship, cooperation, and loyalty. But one thing that they want the most they cannot force on other people, that is they cannot force others to like them. They cannot fulfill their most wanted wish because they never learned the art of dealing with people.
Whether we like it or not, people are here to stay. In current times, we cannot get success and happiness without considering other people. Professional people like doctors, salespersons, or lawyers who enjoy their jobs are not the ones with the most skilled or intelligent people.
But the professionals who get along with the people around them are the ones who are successful and happy.
“Skill in human relations is similar to skill in any other field, in that success depends on understanding and mastering certain basic general principles” as described in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin
Influencing people is an art, not a trick.
When you try to apply a gimmick mechanically, you will go through the same motions as a person who “mastered the way”, but it hardly works for you as told by Les Giblin.
“The one successful way to get the things you want from life is to acquire skill in dealing with people,” as suggested in the book The Art of Dealing with People.
2. Understanding the Human Ego
The human ego is the most precious thing to its possessor because a person can cross all the limits to protect it. Deep within the heart of every person there is something important that asks for respect. Everyone around us is special and different, but the most powerful drive in every person is to protect this special something.
This is why we cannot treat people as masses and numbers. Every effort that has been made to keep away humans from individual worth was ineffective.
The famous American industrialist Henry Kaiser said that you will automatically practice good human relations if you would remember that every individual is important because every individual is a child of God.
Four facts of life described in the book The Art of Dealing with People to print indelibly on your mind:
- We are all egotist
- We are more interested in ourselves than in anything else.
- Every person you meet wants to feel important and wants “to amount to something”.
- There is a craving in everyone for the approval of others so that he can approve of himself.
Everyone is ego-hungry. It is only when the ego is partially satisfied, that we forget about ourselves and shift our attention to another person. Only people who learn to love themselves can be generous and friendly with others.
“If you are on good terms with yourself, you are on good terms with others.”
Once a person learns to like, respect, and love himself then he can like others.
Ego-hunger is natural and universal just like hunger for food. For a healthy personality nature demands a certain self-love and acceptance. When self-esteem is high, people easily get along with others. They are happier and more ready to listen to others’ ideas.
People who find a double meaning in most innocent comments or remarks are suffering from low self-esteem. The best way to deal with such people is to help them to accept and like themselves.
The First Law of Human Relations is: “ People act… or fail to act… largely to enhance their own egos.”
When you want some person to act in a certain way, all logic and reasoning go in vain, try a reason that will boost his ego. Give people a reason to help you.“Help others to like themselves better; satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.”
3. The Importance of Making Others Feel Important
“Everyone’s a millionaire in human relations” as told in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin.
The biggest tragedy is most of us do not use this wealth effectively. It is in our hands to make other people feel important and add to a feeling of personal worth.
The easiest way to improve your relations with others is by giving away this infinite wealth that we possess. You will not lose anything and this wealth will never run out of it.
The four best ways to make other people feel important are:
- Think other people are important
- Notice People
- Don’t compete with people
- Know when to correct others
4. Controlling the Actions and Attitudes of Others
Most of the time we try to control the attitude and actions of other people. While doing so, we believe that we are doing it for their good. But the reality is by controlling others we are doing more harm to us than good.
Most of the time people behave in reaction to our attitude towards them. Like when we smile at people, they smile back at us. Remember Enthusiasm will attract more people than a dull approach.
Confidence breeds confidence as written in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin. You can give confidence to other people just by approaching them confidently.
We all have confidence in some people even when we meet them for the first time. This is because we subconsciously judge others by the below-mentioned signs:
- Watch your walk: your physical actions express your mental attitude
- Your tattle-tale handshake
- Moderate your tone of voice
- Use the magic switch of a smile
The best way to make people do things better is to let them think you trust them and that they are trustworthy.
5. Creating a Good Impression
The way we first meet people, our first words, and our actions set the tone for the rest of our talk. If you want to be formal, start with a formal tone. If you want some friendly talk, begin your conversation in a friendly way.
We can control the actions and attitudes of other people by keeping in mind our first impression is the one that is going to stay for a long time in their minds.
“The world forms its opinion of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves” as written in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin.
This means if you think good about yourself, the people who come in contact with you will also think nice about you.
Don’t wear a disguise: Maybe the conscious mind doesn’t tell us the truth but the subconscious mind is smart enough to analyze the truth. If you try to hide your real self from other people, they will easily identify the true personality that you are trying hard to protect.
Never judge yourself, because by doing so we create a wrong impression in front of others.
“Calmly assume that others will do what you want. Sound the keynote for the entire theme when you begin. Don’t try too hard to impress; let others know that they are making a good impression,” is one of the best pieces of advice given in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin.
6. Developing an Attractive Personality
We all know people who easily attract lots of customers and people. You must be thinking about how they can do it. Because these people satisfy the three basic requirements necessary to attract everyone.
- Acceptance: It is necessary to accept people as they are: and allow them to be themselves. Don’t insist people to change according to your wishes. People who accept others as they are, have the power to change them for the better.
- Approval: This is something more than acceptance. We like others despite their flaws and still accept their friendship. Try to find something good in other people for you to like them, and let them know that you approve of that. Slowly the number of things you honestly approve will increase. With time when other people feel your approval, they will change their behavior and your approval list keeps on growing.
- Appreciation: Consider people and how valuable they are to you. Emphasize their importance in your mind. Then find a way to let them know you value them a lot.
Start using the triple “A” method to attract more and more people.
7. Learning to Communicate Effectively
Most successful people have mastered one of the most important skills in using words. According to Les Giblin, Word skill and Earning Power are interlinked with each other. You can simply expect to double your earnings just by increasing your word power.
Most people are unhappy because they fail to express themselves and carry their emotions and ideas inside them for a long time. Here are a few tips that will help you to communicate effectively.
- Stop trying to be perfect
- Small talk isn’t supposed to be brilliant
- Warm up your subject
- Get people talking about themselves
- Ask questions to interest others
- Talk about yourself when you are invited and asked
- Use happy talk
- Sit down and write yourself a letter
- Overcome the temptation to tease and be sarcastic
To know in detail about these methods read the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin
8. Listening
We all want others to think that we are wise and intelligent. Listening will do this for you, listening will make you clever. One of the best ways to convince and impress people you meet is to listen to them attentively. The fact that you pay enough attention to them by listening will convince others that you are the smart one.
Here are the few tips described in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin that will help you to improve your listening skills
- Look at the person who is talking
- Appear deeply interested
- Ask questions
- Don’t interrupt; instead, ask for more
- Stick to the speaker’s subject
- Use the speaker’s words to get your point across
9. Getting People to Agree
Every day we face situations where people don’t agree with our ideas. This happens both in my professional and personal life. When other people oppose our ideas, we take them personally and use our full energy to convince them. But this is not the right way to win any argument.
Rules for Winning any Arguments as described in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin
- Allow others to state their case
- Pause before you answer
- Don’t insist on winning 100%
- State your case moderately and accurately
- Speak through third parties
- Allow others to save face
10. Giving Praise
When someone praises us or thanks us for doing the work our energy level rises up and we feel happy and energetic. Everywhere people are hungry for praise and acknowledgment.
When we fulfill the wants of other people there are chances that people will become more generous in giving us what we want from them.
“Honest praise, and giving credit where it is due, not only makes people feel better but allows them to work more productively,” as suggested in the book The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin.
Never wait for people to do something big. Give them the credit by saying “thank you”, even when they do a very small favor for you. Don’t take people for granted, tell them by appreciating them. When you start appreciating people, they will start doing more in a better way.
Rules for saying “Thank You”
- Thanks, should be sincere
- Don’t mumble it; speak up
- Thank people by name
- Look at people when you thank them
- Work at thanking people
- Thank people when they least expect it
11. Criticising Others Without Offending Them
Most of the time we criticize people by telling them that we are saying it for their good. But the reality is we are not most of the time. Many times, we do this for ourselves.
To learn the art of dealing with people we need to look at criticism in a new light. The art of dealing with criticism is not to hurt others but to grow them without hurting their feelings.
The essentials of successful criticism:
- Criticism must be made in absolute privacy
- Preface criticism with a kind word or compliment
- Make the criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person
- Supply the answer
- Ask for cooperation; don’t demand it
- One criticism to an offense
- Finish in a friendly fashion
The Author Les Giblin has written this book with the purpose of improving human relations to get more success and happiness.
Book Review: The Art of Dealing With People by Les Giblin
According to author Les Giblin, many scientific studies have proved that if you learn people-handling skills, you will have covered 85% of the road to success in any profession or business and 99% of the distance to happiness.
This is a short book, but there is learning in every line. The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin will help you upgrade your communication skills to the next level.
Communication skills are as important as gaining knowledge of any other subject. While diving deep to master the communication skill you need to know certain general principles. The author has very well explained those principles in this book. He discussed all the rules in detail.
The main aim of The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin is to guide you based on real human nature: why people behave the way they do. The method suggested in this book is tested on thousands of people who have attended Les Giblin’s seminars. This is a well-researched book with ideas that stood the test of how to deal with people.
We all want success and happiness both in our personal and professional lives. The one thing that will help you to gain it is the art of dealing with people. To master your communication skill read The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin.
Also Read: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz