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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do will unleash 13 habits of mentally strong people. This well-researched book will make you aware of the habits of mentally strong people. To know more about these 13 habits, read the summary and review written in the below post.
About the Author
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, who spent most of her time studying people and talking about mental health. She is a popular TEDx speaker. Her articles have been published in Forbes, Time, Psychology Today, and many more.
Her work on mental health is featured by media houses like CNBC, CNN, Today, and many more.
Amy Morin went through a series of personal losses that broke her down inside out. That is when she decided to study the psychology of mentally strong people and their habits.
After studying so many of her patients and from her own experience in dealing with grief for a long time, she decided to write a book. She is a psychotherapist who turned into an author. She had written many books on the habits of mentally strong people. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do is her first book.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Book Summary
When I read a lot of negative things about rich and famous people in the newspaper. I used to think about how they can be so strong to fight the negativity that comes their way to success.
Recently, I came across this motivational book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin.
Avoiding these 13 habits will help you to develop mental strength which is important in handling all types of life problems.
What is Mental Strength?
“Developing mental strength is about improving your ability to regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave positively, despite your circumstances” as defined in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
We make our best decisions in life when we balance our sentiments with rational thinking. Stop and think for a minute about how you behave when you are angry.
Benefits of Mental Strength
- Increase resilience to stress
- Improved life satisfaction
- Enhanced performance
13 habits of mentally strong people described in the book are
1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
Self-pity can overpower you until it eventually changes your thoughts and behavior. So, you need to take control. We can’t change a situation but can change an attitude.
Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destruction. It leads to greater problems that cause serious consequences.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
- Behave in a manner that makes it hard to feel sorry for yourself.
- Replace thoughts that encourage self-pity.
- Exchange self-pity for gratitude.
2. They don’t give away their power
Giving other people the power to control how you think, feel, and behave makes it impossible to achieve mental strength.
When you don’t set healthy, emotional, and physical boundaries for yourself, you risk giving away all your power to others.
Make a conscious choice to think about how you want to act before you respond to other people. Every time you lose your control you give chance to another person to overpower you.
One person’s opinion about you doesn’t make it true. You can choose to disagree and move on without wasting time and energy trying to change the other person’s mind.
Always remember you have a choice in everything you do, think, and feel.
Choosing to forgive will be more empowering than holding a grudge against others.
3. They don’t shy away from change
Although it is easy for us to say change, it is difficult to apply in everyday life. Thoughts and emotions prevent us from making behavioral changes, even if they positively change our life.
Many people shy away from making changes that can improve their life positively.
Fear, avoiding discomfort, and grief may stop us from making a change we need to create for success.
You believe it will be difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it.
If you want to make a long-term change, you need a successful plan. In order to bring the change you can follow the below-mentioned steps are described in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
- Create a goal for what you would like to achieve in the next thirty days.
- Establish concrete behavior changes you can make to reach that goal each day
- Anticipate obstacles along the way
- Establish accountability
- Monitor your progress
4. They don’t focus on things they can’t control
We can’t make all the people and situations in our lives fit into the way we think things should. When you learn to let go of things that you can’t control, the energy that you save will give you the ability to accomplish unbelievable success.
There are several problems associated with trying to control everything as mentioned in the book
- Trying to maintain complete control of a situation or things leads to increased anxiety
- Seeking to control everything wastes time and energy
- Being a control freak damages relationships
- You’ll judge others harshly
- You’ll unnecessarily blame yourself for everything.
Practice acceptance, even when you might not like your current situation, you can choose to accept it.
“Instead of wasting energy in trying to prevent a storm, focus on how much you can prepare for it” by Amy Morin in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone
People pleasing is about trying to manipulate how other people feel. People pleasing will stop you from reaching your full potential.
Some of the harsh truths that people pleasers should know
- Worrying about trying to please everyone is a big waste of time.
- People pleasers are easily manipulated.
- It’s okay for other people to feel disappointed sometimes.
- You can’t please everyone.
The more you can see that you don’t have to make people happy, the more independence and confidence you will gain.
Stop wasting energy trying to become the person you think others want you to be, use it to work on yourself.
6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks
Most people often avoid taking the risks that help them reach their full potential because they are afraid. Our negative thoughts create fears and doubts that prevent us from taking action.
Most people don’t invest much time calculating which risk to take and which one to avoid. Instead based decisions on habits and emotions.
We avoid taking risks when it sounds scary but we get aware of the benefits, it is likely we overlook the risk.
“Success won’t find you. You have to purchase it. Stepping into the unknown to take carefully calculated risks can help you reach your dreams and fulfill your goals” as told by Amy Morin in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
7. They don’t dwell on the past
“Although self-deflection is healthy, dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing you from enjoying the present and planning the future. But you don’t have to stay stuck in the past. You can choose to start living in the moment” as told by the author in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
Best way to make peace with the past
- Permit yourself to move forward
- Recognize the emotional burden of dwelling on the past versus moving forward
- Practice forgiveness
- Change behavior that dwells you in the past
- Seek professional help if necessary
Remaining in the past will stop you from enjoying the present and future. Identify the time when you get lost in the past and take a step to heal your emotions. When your emotions are healed, you can move ahead in life.
8. They don’t make the same mistake over and over again in life
“Although we’d like to think we learn from our mistakes the first time around, the truth is everyone repeats mistakes sometimes. That’s just part of being human” as mentioned in the book 13 things mentally strong people don’t do.
When we don’t accept our mistakes, we don’t learn lessons from them, this makes us more prone to repeating them in the future.
If you want to avoid repeating mistakes, spend time analyzing them. Keeping negative feelings aside, acknowledge the factors that created the blunder and learn from them.
9. They don’t resent other people’s success
Feelings of resentment are like anger, but it remains hidden. When people feel angry, they mostly express it. But hide their resentment feelings.
Follow these steps if you find yourself resenting other people
- Avoid comparing yourself to other people
- Develop an awareness of your stereotypes
- Stop emphasizing your weakness
- Quit magnifying other people’s strength
- Don’t insult other people’s accomplishments
- Stop trying to determine what’s fair
When you feel happy about other people’s accomplishments, you will attract successful people. Surrounding yourself with successful people will help you to gain more success and happiness.
10. They don’t give up after the first failure
Some people are motivated by failure to do better next time, while others give up.
Don’t allow wrong beliefs about your abilities to stop you from gaining success.
Replace wrong thoughts with these realistic reminds
- Failure is very much a part of the journey to success
- I can handle failure
- I can learn from my failures
- Failure is a sign that I am challenging myself and I choose to try again
Understanding that you will be okay, even if you feel repeatedly, offers peace and satisfaction in life. With experience and practice, you will learn how your failure will play an important role in becoming successful.
11. They don’t fear alone time
“Creating time to be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful experience, instrumental in helping you reach your goals ” as suggested in the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
People often confuse being alone with being lonely. But solitude is about choosing to be alone with your thoughts.
According to research, there are many benefits of solitude
- Moderate alone time is good for kids
- Solitude at the office can increase productivity
- Alone time can increase your empathy
- Spending time alone sparks creativity
- Solitude skills are good for mental health
- Solitude offer restoration
It is difficult for some people to spend some alone time. Use alone time by following the below-mentioned steps
· Reflect on your goals
· Pay attention to your feelings
· Set goals for the future
· Write a journal
· Schedule a date with yourself
· Learn and practice meditation
· Mindfulness skills
Don’t be afraid of spending time alone. It’s not a selfish act or a waste of time. Instead, it will improve your life in many ways.
12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything
When you stop asking for more and feel satisfied with all you have, you’ll experience tremendous benefits in life.
Stop focusing on what makes things fair for you. Try to follow the below-mentioned steps
- Focus on your efforts, not your importance.
- Accept criticism gracefully
- Acknowledge your flaws and weakness
- Stop and think about how other people feel
- Don’t keep score
Increasing mental strength sometimes requires cherishing what the world gives you without demanding more.
13. They don’t expect immediate results
Mentally strong people know that a quick fix isn’t the best solution.
Few reasons why we expect immediate results
- We lack patience
- We overestimate our abilities
- We underestimate how long change takes
Most people miss new opportunities because they want to do things in life that would be quick and painless.
Book Review of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
In current times, we all are living a life full of social pressures. Some come from our dear and near ones and lots of uninvited ones come from social media. This book will help you to deal with all the pressures and come out strong.
The content of the book is well-researched. Each step begins with the stories of Amy Morin’s clients and she offers real solutions to them.
This book is a practical guide that will help you reduce your stress and motivate you to face the world bravely.
We all want to improve our lives and want to live healthy, wealthy, and good lives. But our internal and external battles prevent us from living a good life. In the book author, Amy Morin suggested how to fight internal and external battles to become a mentally strong person.
We all know when we want to change we need to fight an internal battle, which is the most difficult one than the external one.
This book will work as a great guide in helping you to win all your internal battles.
I discovered from this book that mental strength plays a more important role in life compared to physical strength. If you are mentally strong then the rest of the things are easily achievable.
To learn about the habits of mentally strong people pick this amazing book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin.
Also Read: Manifest:7 Steps to Living Best of Life by Roxie Nafousi